So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
