I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
