you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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