so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
