some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
