dude i'm inner monologue high
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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