32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
