Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
