i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
