Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
