good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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