her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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