My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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