Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have tasted many bathrooms
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
