Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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