He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
