Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize