I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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