K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
