Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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