I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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