My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize