i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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