All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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