My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
