At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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