Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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