I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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