Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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