Can Purell be used as lube?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
