Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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