My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize