good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
