Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
