Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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