all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
