'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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