Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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