what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
