im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
