How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
