why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
