I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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