Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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