How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
