go do what you do best...puke behind churches
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize