saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
