she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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