my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
