what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
