the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
