it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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