You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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