you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
