Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
