I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
