im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize