I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
