im holly from the hills drunk
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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