i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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