shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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