I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he fucked my hip out of place.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
