She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
