Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
