just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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