The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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