She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dignity is for republicans.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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