Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
