Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
