i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
