Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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