I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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