You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
