So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
