dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize